[APH GerIta] Safe and Sound

"Ludwig... I don't want to die..."
"It's alright, Feliciano. It won't hurt."
"A-and you'll stay with me?"
"Of course."
The two men sat in a single chair, looking out of the large window in Feliciano's hospital room, where the sun was setting, throwing rays of gold across the darkening sky. Feliciano sniffed quietly, and Ludwig's brow pinched in concern. He leaned his head forward to press his lips softly against the back of the smaller man's neck, just above the hem of his hospital gown.

I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go"

"Sh..." he murmured, as Feliciano swallowed heavily. Although nothing would technically happen to Ludwig himself, he still felt like this was his last day on Earth, too. He didn't want Feli to leave him - he felt like if that happened, he would die too. Feliciano was his fire, his motivation, his one true, pure thing in life. He didn't deserve this. Of course, no one deserved something like cancer, but especially not Feliciano, who was so innocent, so happy. Of course, he had tried to cover up his fear, but Ludwig could see right through him.

When all those shadows almost killed your light

Ludwig promised he would stay with Feliciano until his very last seconds.

I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"

So now there they were, watching their last sunset together.
"I-it's very beautiful..." muttered Feliciano. Ludwig nodded stiffly, trying not to make it obvious that his heart was pounding nervously, his teeth clenched.
"Ja..."

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Ludwig squeezed the other's frail hand softly. He could feel the bones under the skin much too easily - Feliciano had been steadily losing weight, and now he could only just walk. Ludwig remembered when Feliciano would dance, and sing, and run. He had so much energy, so much joy in his eyes. Those copper eyes, which were now dull, their lids heavy. It pained the German to know how much effort Feliciano was making, just so the other wouldn't worry about him so much.
"Ludwig?" Came his quiet voice. "I'm... I'm tired."

Just close your eyes

Ludwig's eyes started to sting, but he ignored it, brushing Feli's thin hair back from his face softly, giving a small nod.
"It's alright, Feli. You can sleep."
"But, w-what if...?" He left the question unsaid, hanging in the still air; neither of them wanted to finish it, but they both knew what he meant.
"It'll be ok," Ludwig assured him. "Everything will be ok." He wondered how his voice did not shake, or crack. His chest felt like it would just cave in at any moment.

The sun is going down
You'll be alright

"But, I-I'm scared."
Of course, Ludwig had known for months how the other felt, but it was different when he said it out loud. It somehow made it more real.
"I'm right here, just lean on me," said Ludwig, his voice controlled. "It will just be like falling asleep, I promise. No pain."

No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

"... Will I go to heaven?"
Ludwig's breath hitched momentarily, and he frowned slightly. He knew Feliciano was a Catholic, but the German himself had never been very religious. But he could never deny Feliciano anything that might make this easier, even if just a little.
"J-ja," he whispered. "You'll... you'll go to heaven. And everything will be perfect. You'll be happy."
"Will I be an angel?" Feliciano's thin lips turned upwards slightly at the thought, and Ludwig smiled to, though his heart was breaking.
"Of course you will. You'll be the most beautiful angel there," he murmured, burying his head a little in the top of Feliciano's back, his frame trembling slightly.
"Oh, don't cry, Ludwig," Feliciano said, reaching back slowly to run his thin fingers through the  other's unusually messy blonde hair. "I'm ok, really. Heaven sounds nice."

Don't you dare look out your window
Darling everything's on fire

Ludwig lifted his head slowly, ashamed at himself for getting emotional. "Es tut mir leid," he muttered. "I'm fine."
Feliciano looked at him sadly for a moment, before stroking the larger man's cheek softly, brushing it with his fingertips. Ludwig let out a shuddering breath at the light touch, reaching up to hold Feliciano's hand to his cheek, closing his eyes to just concentrate on this feeling, before it ended. Feliciano leaned forward slightly, to kiss the blonde's creased forehead, and then to press their lips together softly. Ludwig kissed him back, being gentle for fear of breaking him.

The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby

Feliciano pulled away. "Ti amo, Ludwig," he muttered, resting his head on the German's chest.
"Forever," muttered Ludwig, kissing the top of Feliciano's head softly. The Italian's eyes slid closed slowly, and Ludwig's grip around him tightened for a few seconds, before he relaxed. He didn't want this. He wasn't ready. He would never be ready. Why couldn't this have happened to him instead? Why Feli? Ludwig just wanted it all to stop. He was tired of acting like the stoic, muscled, angry German who Feliciano followed everywhere. He was tired of having to act like he didn't care. He was tired of being so cold towards people.

Even when the music's gone

Feliciano's small chest rose and fell slowly, under Ludwig's clasped hands. The blonde leaned his head down, to rest his forehead against Feliciano's hair. He tried to concentrate on the Italian's small breaths. In... out. In... out.
"I-I love you, Feliciano," he murmured, his brow furrowed. He had never said it outright, as he had always believed that actions speak louder than words. But it had come to this now, and Ludwig knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he never said it.
Feliciano's lips turned upwards ever so slightly, and his hand squeezed Ludwig's hand quickly, before his chest finally went still.

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound